Marital Conflicts
Paul gives us an example of this type of forgiveness in 2 Corinthians 2:10-11 when he says, “To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” Paul’s forgiveness worked like this, He considered the offence and then asked, did Jesus die to cover this sin? The answer to that question is always yes since Christ died for all. Paul then made the decision to go with Christ’s choice over his own thinking and feelings. I may have to make this choice daily or even more often for a while but I must as a believer forgive as God forgives lest as Paul says, “Satan should get an advantage of us:” certainly we are not ignorant of the fact that the devil loves to trap Christians in this sin of unforgiveness.
Let me make one more important distinction as we are talking about this issue of forgiveness. There is a relationship between forgiveness and restoration but they are not the same thing. God has chosen to extend the offer of forgiveness to all men through Christ Jesus, however, all men are not saved. Only those who repent and turn to God accepting His forgiveness are restored to a right relationship with Him. The devil uses this issue as a club against many believers in regards to their relationships. A child or another loved one is in sin and the relationship is hindered. Then someone who is ignorant of the relationship between forgiveness and restoration says something like, “well if you were a real Christian you would forgive them”, implying that real Christianity is to overlook unrepentant sin and act as though it isn’t happening. That is not real forgiveness. Forgiveness should be offered immediately based upon Christ but the restoration of any relationship is also contingent on the other individual’s repentance toward the offense.
True forgiveness on our part keeps us from being angry and bitter against them and thus our relationship is right regardless of their response. This is so important because of what Jesus warned us about in Matthew 6:15, “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” God offers us forgiveness for our offences and restores a right relationship with us when we repent. If we refuse to make the same offer to others then we are living in sin and have alienated ourselves from a right relationship with God as well. We are in danger of following the path of Cain to our own destruction
Before we can learn to do things the right way in a marriage we must decide to forgive for past offences and give them over to God. This frees us from their power to continue to destroy our homes.
