Insecurity
Most people experience natural insecurity mostly between the ages of 8-14. It is during these ages that a course is generally set because of insecurity that causes many to grab hold of something to give them a feeling of security, and those things often become compulsive behaviors or addictions. The same issues that David faced are sources of insecurity for nearly everyone. Consider these reasons in a more personal application.Conflict – This often comes in the form of fighting between parents. When parents fight, the children experience a great amount of insecurity. There is almost nothing more frightening to a young person than the prospect of losing one of their parents. Parents are a significant source of our security and when they are in open conflict, the fear increases in children.
Separation from loved ones – This can happen because of the death of a friend or a loved one. Losing someone close to you can turn your whole life over, regardless of your age. Many people have wrongly attached their own identity to that of another person and when the other person dies, they suddenly lose their source of personal identity and security. Divorce is another significant factor in this regard. When a parent, most often a father, is suddenly removed from the home because of divorce, it creates a tremendous amount of insecurity in a child. I have even known people whose parents divorced in their adult years. They were thrown into a significant amount of insecurity because the separation of their parents removed the foundation for their personal security. Divorce is an incredibly destructive and destabilizing event for children, regardless of their age. For a child, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce.
Change – aging provides its own insecurities as we grow and change. Moving from one class to another in school or moving to new schools as we grow can create feelings of insecurity. Add physical changes such as puberty and you increase insecurity even more. For many people, moving from place to place is a way of life, and such moves provide insecurity for a young person. They lose their friends and now are alone, and must make new friends from strangers. New schools, new churches, new everything, all out of their control. There is a great desire to fit in that is a result of our insecurities, and so often when a person is plucked from the place that they are accustomed to and placed in a new environment, they experience peer pressure in a whole new way. They have no one and long to be accepted, so they will do things or change their behavior in order to be accepted because of the new insecurities that they are experiencing. Both separation from loved ones and change are the reasons that many missionary and military children struggle with insecurity and often fall prey to addictions as a result.
Rejection – This may be the result of anger in the home that is interpreted as rejection of them as a person. It may be because of a parent or teacher who is a perfectionist and belittles them because of perceived weaknesses. It may also be the result of bullying or because of the rejection of peers that a person feels insecure about who they are, and as a result, begins to act out in a way to either gain acceptance or turns inwardly declaring that they don’t need anyone else, that they can meet their own needs.
In all these cases, there is often a tendency to grasp for something that can relieve the feelings of insecurity that have resulted. It is during these vulnerable times that a trap is often laid and fallen into, a trap that provides a false feeling of security. David warns about that very thing in Psalm 142. He says in verse 3, “they privily laid a snare for me”. In verse 6-7, he gives some other indications of what happens when a person falls into the snare of insecurity, saying that he was brought very low. Insecurity will bring a person to a very dark, very low place, desiring to be delivered from his persecutors. We might understand that when a person grabs onto a false security, they will feel some solace in it, but they will also feel that they are being drawn into a darker place. David recognizes that such things are stronger than he was.
