How to deal with grief and loss
One of the most helpful passages in the Bible on dealing with grief is found in Genesis 23:1-4. This is not the first place death is mentioned in the Bible, however it does give us some important principles about dealing with death that everyone needs to know. It says, “And Sarah was an hundred and seven and twenty years old: these were the years of the life of Sarah. And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth, saying, I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a buryingplace with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.”
So what do we learn from this passage that we have read today that will help us deal with death in a Biblical manner?
First, It is ok to mourn for those who die. The word mourn literally means to tear the hair and beat the breast, to lament and wail. It is normal to weep and sorrow, it is normal to sit down before your dead and cry. Understand that this does nothing for the dead, you cannot alter their state at all, you cannot affect their place in either heaven or hell. That is not based upon what you do, but what they have done.
Someone however, who does not mourn, and does not weep has a serious problem. They have bottled up what is normal and natural, and are going to experience a greater conflict down the road. Really what you are mourning is not just their absence but, if they were close to you, you are mourning the loss of part of who you are. You are mourning the loss of part of your identity. This is especially true for those who have been a caretaker or have been married for many years. Their identity is so enter twined with that of the deceased, that it is hard to reconcile who they now are. how do they go forward from here, part of me is gone they may say.
