Anger
Eliminate wrong expectations – Psalm 62:5 “My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.” If you are going to deal with anger you must evaluate your expectations. When you get angry you must ask the question what expectation did I have and is it in line with God’s plan for expectations.
It is ok to have a desires, to desire someone to do right is ok, but to expect them to is not ok. Desire is for their best, they are at their best when they do what they should but expectation puts them under a burden to perform and makes us the one holding the weight of their performance. Remember everyone in this world including you is only human, everyone fails, everyone messes up including you.
The golden rule is so applicable here, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Despite what you might think you are not perfect, your way is not the only way and you must treat others with the same respect that you desire when you fail.
Don’t be hasty – this is mentioned 3 times in the Bible, it says in Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”; In Proverbs 14:17 “He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.”; and in Proverbs 14:29 “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”
Often anger is associated with the phrase a quick temper. One thing you often will hear people talk about in regard to anger is to count to 10 before you respond.
This is actually an application of what the Bible says here about not being hasty in anger. The word hasty means rash, not deliberate, irritable, or easily excited to wrath. This is a state of mind not just a response. In other words, you must train your mind to be deliberate and at ease. You cannot live on the edge of anger and avoid falling into it.
If you are going to avoid anger you must learn to control your mind rather than allow it to control you. The Bible talks about this constantly. It gives a patter for this in Philippians 4:4-8,
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Notice the process here,
- Develop a positive outlook through praise.
- Practice having a moderate spirit so that others can see you are not hasty or rash.
- Exercise thankfulness in your life through prayer.
- Keep your mind stayed on that which is good rather than that which is bad.
Do you notice how much thanksgiving and praise are a part of having a mind that is controlled rather than one that is rash. Remember how the issue of ingratitude results from exercising anger?
If you are going to develop a mind that is free from hast to anger you can begin with doing what we call a stroke file. This is a tool to help you gain victory over negative thinking. Take a 3×5 card each morning and write the date in the top right corner. On the left write A.M, Noon, P.M. then on each of these occasions write 3 things that you can see to thank God for. On the back write one thing you can be thankful for about the person you struggle with anger the most with.
This process will help you keep a mind that is content rather than one looking for offence at every turn.
